Stop Treating Your Doula Work Like a Hobby
I’ve been a doula for 18 years this September, and man oh man, has the doula world changed in that time. When I first got started, most people I spoke with had never heard of a doula. Explaining what I did was often part of the job, and I certainly never imagined that one day I’d see doulas included in employer benefits, insurance reimbursement programs, and hospital conversations about improving maternal and infant care.
Now, there are trainings popping up every weekend, more pathways into this work than ever before, and a growing number of families who understand what doulas do and are actively looking for our support. That is something worth celebrating! We have worked hard to get here, and so have the doulas who came before us, often doing this work when it was misunderstood, dismissed, or considered a luxury that only a handful of families could access.
The opportunities available to doulas today are bigger than they have ever been. Families are willing to invest in support. Employers are beginning to recognize the value of doula care. Insurance companies and benefits programs are slowly opening doors that many of us have spent years hoping would open.
But with those opportunities comes a responsibility to take this work more seriously.
I know that may sound a little harsh coming from someone who has spent nearly two decades in this field, but I actually mean it as encouragement. There is room for doulas to build sustainable, successful careers doing work they genuinely love. There is room to earn a good living, serve families well, and create businesses that can support you for longer than the average two-year burnout cycle we see far too often.
We do not have to choose between being compassionate and being professional. We do not have to choose between caring about families and running an organized business. In fact, I would argue that the more seriously we take the business side of this work, the better positioned we are to keep doing the work we love without burning ourselves out, undercharging, losing money, or constantly wondering where our next client is coming from.
Doula work may look different from a traditional nine-to-five, but that doesn't mean the expectations should be lower. We may work odd hours, meet clients in coffee shops, answer texts from parking lots, and more often than not find ourselves supporting someone through labor at random hours of the night.
Still, this is work.
Important work.
And if we want clients, care providers, employers, and insurance companies to continue seeing doulas as professionals, we have to hold ourselves to that standard too.
That starts with the little things and recognizing that professionalism isn’t optional.
Think of any other career… how would you treat an interview at a Fortune 500 company? Would you prepare? Would you show up 10 minutes early? Would you dress professionally?
Then you should be showing up as a doula the same way.
Here are the things I believe are non-negotiable when showing up as a professional doula:
Show. Up. Early.
If you schedule an interview with a potential client or to join an agency, show up. I feel like this should not have to be said, but unfortunately as someone who interviews doulas for a living, it needs to be.
If you agree to meet with anyone for your career as a doula (networking meeting, coffee with a colleague, prenatal with a client) put it on your calendar and treat it like it matters.
Being a doula does not mean operating on “Doula Standard Time”, where everyone is expected to understand that you're running 20 minutes late because Mercury is in retrograde, your toddler couldn't find their shoes, and you had a really busy week.
Show up early for your meetings and show up prepared.
If you're going to be late, send a message. If you need to reschedule, communicate that as soon as possible.
And please, for the love of professionalism, don’t ghost people.
No-showing a potential client, another professional, or anyone who has set aside time to meet with you is not a good look. It is not evidence that you're a busy doula, it’s evidence that you’re an unprofessional one. And it gives the rest of us a bad name.
Try no-showing for an interview at any other job and see how many second chances you get.
Spoiler alert: probably not many.
Send the Reminder
People are busy and calendars can get messy, so do everyone a favor and send appointment reminders.
I’m not saying you need to invest in an elaborate automated system that costs $400 a month and sends seventeen emails before a 30-minute Zoom call. A simple text or email the day before can save everyone from sitting around wondering if the other person forgot.
Something as simple as, “Looking forward to speaking with you tomorrow at 2:00 p.m.! Here's the Zoom link again for easy access,” goes a long way.
It also makes you look organized and professional which helps build trust between you and the client.
The same can be said for following up after appointments. Thank people for their time and send any information you promised. Keep the conversation open by clarifying next steps and nurturing the connection you made.
Manage Your Books
Being a small business owner can be overwhelming. I talk all the time about “wearing all the hats” as a self-employed doula. Unless you have the funds to outsource, modern doulas need to be somewhat savvy in social media, marketing, web design, accounting, networking, and so much more.
As a doula you do not need to be an accountant, however, you do need to know how much money you are making, what your clients owe you, what bills have been paid, what expenses are outstanding, and what you need to report at tax time. You need to keep receipts and track your income, full stop.
Find a system that works for you and manage your money well. Your future self will thank you!
Submit Proper Documentation
Invoices, receipts, payments - document it all!
If a client needs paperwork for reimbursement, benefits, or insurance, provide professional documentation that clearly states what they paid for and when.
We are entering an era where more families are seeking reimbursement for doula care through insurance companies and employer benefits programs. This will require more record keeping, more knowledge, and more organization. If we want doula care to continue being taken seriously, we have to do our part and keep track of the important things.
Always. Have. A. Contract.
I don't care if the client is your cousin.
I don't care if you know them from church.
I don't care if they seem incredibly nice.
I don't care if you've they’ve been your best friend for fifteen years and their mom used to make you cookies.
Sign a contract, every single time.
Your contract should clearly outline what services you are providing, what you are charging, when payments are due, what happens if services are canceled, and any other expectations that both you and your client need to understand.
A contract is not a sign that you don't trust your clients, but rather is a sign of professionalism that protects your clients, yourself, and your business.
Keep Your Heart, But Set Boundaries
Somewhere along the way, I think we created this idea that being business-minded somehow makes you less compassionate.
It doesn't.
Sending an invoice doesn’t make you less caring.
Having a cancellation policy does not make you less supportive.
Requiring a signed contract doesn’t mean you don’t desire to connect with your clients.
Having boundaries doesn’t make you a corporate shill.
You can care deeply about your clients and still respect your own time. You can be flexible when life throws someone a curveball while still having policies and boundaries. You can run a heart-centered business without operating it like a side-hustle.
The support you provide as a doula makes a strong impact in your client’s lives. They are trusting you with a lot. It only makes sense that you’d meet that trust with professionalism and heart, beautifully working in tandem.
Yes, be compassionate, flexible, and HUMAN. But also, be a professional.