Breastfeeding vs. Formula Isn’t the Problem—The Lack of Support Is
Have you ever scrolled through Instagram and stumbled upon yet another “Mommy Wars” post—where the comments section explodes into a heated debate about whether breast milk or formula is better? The back-and-forth can get harsh, judgmental, and completely misses the point. Society is quick to judge, quick to offer opinions, but painfully slow to provide the real, hands-on help that moms need to succeed.
Instead of tearing each other down, we should be asking: Where is the help these moms need to succeed?
Breastfeeding Is Natural & Normal—So Why Aren’t We Supporting It?
Breastfeeding is the most natural, biologically normal way to nourish a baby. Period. This is not a judgement, it is a fact. Our bodies are designed for it. But for too many women, breastfeeding feels like an uphill battle—one that’s made even harder by the lack of support from healthcare systems, workplaces, and even their own families. Many women want to breastfeed, and they’re capable of doing so, but without the right guidance and assistance, it becomes overwhelming.
The reality is, breastfeeding can come with challenges. Babies don’t always latch perfectly or have oral ties or body tension that makes latching a challenge. Moms can struggle with milk supply or pain while nursing. Sometimes the physical demands of postpartum recovery and the sleep deprivation make breastfeeding feel like too much. There are moms who need to return to work much sooner than they should have to. And instead of stepping in with options or help, too many (mostly well-meaning) people just throw up our hands and suggest formula as the solution.
It’s my belief, that offering formula as a solution to someone who is committed to and desperately wants to breastfeed is harmful and the entirely wrong approach. Women who want to breastfeed should have access to lactation consultants, breastfeeding education, and postpartum doula support so they can succeed. They should have workplaces that provide ample maternity leave, family friendly benefits, and time to pump along with a relaxing pumping space. They should have communities rallying around them to lighten their postpartum and parenting load, so breastfeeding doesn’t feel like another burden in an already overwhelming time.
Formula May Be Necessary, But It’s Overused
I’m not going to ignore the fact that formula has its place. There are situations where it is absolutely necessary and life-saving. But let’s not pretend it’s an equal option to breastfeeding. Formula should be used when necessary, not as a fallback when we fail to support women in breastfeeding. We have to acknowledge that formula is a manufactured product and can’t replicate the dynamic, ever-evolving, immune-boosting properties of breast milk. It should be treated as a tool, not a convenience.
The real issue? Formula is often pushed as the easier option because the right support systems for breastfeeding simply aren’t in place. And then there’s the formula industry itself, which uses aggressive and manipulative marketing tactics to convince women that breastfeeding isn’t enough, or that formula is somehow a better (or even equal), more convenient option. The formula industry has deep pockets, and they know how to market their products in a way that preys on the vulnerability of new moms. We’ve seen this before… decades of pushing formula on mothers, often at the expense of their ability to successfully breastfeed, despite their best efforts.
We Need to Build a Support System, Not Push a Product
What moms who want to breastfeed need isn’t more access to formula. They need access to more support. They need real, tangible help. Lactation consultants should be readily available for group or in-home visits, and not just for those who can afford them. We need more postpartum doulas, more peer support groups, more prenatal and postpartum education for moms and their families about the realities of breastfeeding, more donor networks and more encouragement from our society as a whole.
And we need to stop framing formula as the “easy” alternative just because we’re too lazy or unwilling to create a community where breastfeeding is fully supported. Sure, it may seem easier in the short term, but the long-term benefits of breastfeeding (for both the baby and the mother) far outweigh the temporary convenience of formula.
It’s Time to Shift the Conversation
The conversation around breastfeeding vs. formula shouldn’t be about pitting one against the other. We should be asking: Why aren’t we doing more to help women succeed at breastfeeding? Why aren’t there systems in place to make breastfeeding easier, more accessible, and less stressful?
If we’re serious about supporting women and their babies, we need to focus on building that support. It’s not enough to talk about the benefits of breastfeeding; we have to make it possible for women to actually experience those benefits. We need to advocate for more community resources, more medical professionals trained in breastfeeding support, and a cultural shift that doesn’t treat breastfeeding as an inconvenience, but as the incredible, life-sustaining process it is.
Support Moms, Don’t Abandon Them
It’s time to stop letting moms fall through the cracks. Whether it’s lack of education, limited access to resources, or a society that doesn’t make space for breastfeeding moms, the problem isn’t with the women, it’s with the system. Breastfeeding is normal, natural, and best for babies, but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Women need support, and it’s on all of us to take action and provide it.
It’s time to stop talking about breastfeeding vs. formula like it’s a battle. The real battle is ensuring every mom who wants to breastfeed can do so… without the guilt, without the shame, without divisive and maniputlative marketing tactics, and without the lack of support that’s all too common.
We’re Here to Help You Breastfeed
It’s time to build a community where every mom can thrive. If you’re struggling with breastfeeding or need guidance, you don’t have to go through it alone. We can help you find the right resources, whether it’s connecting you with an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC), a lactation-trained postpartum doula, a myofunctional therapist or craniosacral therapist, or other practitioners that support the mother-baby dyad. You deserve real support that helps you meet your breastfeeding goals and takes into account your own unique situation. Reach out, and we’ll help you find the assistance you need to make breastfeeding work for you and your baby.
The National Baby Co team offers birth doula, postpartum doula, fertility doula support, and sleep consulting for growing families across the United States. We have doulas based in Southern California, San Diego, San Francisco and the Bay Area, Denver, Metro Detroit, Lansing, Ann Arbor, New York City, North Jersey, Charlotte, Portland, Eugene, Knoxville, Houston, Orlando, and beyond through virtual support options. Whether you're preparing for birth, navigating postpartum, trying to conceive, or looking for better sleep, our team is here to help with thoughtful, personalized care. For doula support, inquire here.