Night Wakings, Cluster Feeding, and How to Survive the Newborn Phase
If you’re in the thick of the newborn stage, you already know it’s not just “tired.” It’s a full-body, time-warping, what-day-is-it level of exhaustion. In our work as postpartum doulas in Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Detroit, Portland, and NYC, we see the same pattern over and over. Nights get long, feeds are constant, and you start wondering if you’ll ever sleep like a human again.
The newborn phase is wild, but it is survivable. And we’re here to share tips on how you can do that!
Why Newborns Wake So Much at Night
Newborn sleep is chaotic for one simple reason: their body isn’t on a 24-hour schedule yet.
Newborns have do not have a developed circadian rhythm yet, which means to them, there’s no “day vs night.” There is just sleep, wake, poop, eat, sleep again and so on.
Newborn night wakings occur for a variety of reasons including their stomachs are tiny and empty fast, feeding frequently regulates blood sugar, they need contact and closeness to feel safe, they are developmentally unable to connect sleep cycles yet
To simplify, it not a sleep problem… it’s simply a newborn being a newborn.
What Newborn Cluster Feeding REALLY Means
Cluster feeding isn’t a bad habit or something you caused and it certainly doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your milk supply or your baby. It’s literally your baby’s biology doing what it’s supposed to do. Cluster feeding typically hits in the evenings and feels like a nonstop loop of “I just fed you,” followed by “there’s no way you’re hungry again,” and then realizing… yes, they are. Babies cluster feed during growth spurts and developmental leaps, in order to regulate your milk-supply, due to overstimulation or desire to be connected, or simply because they need comfort and closeness. Yes, cluster feeding can be intense, and it can make evenings feel endless, but it’s completely normal and it won’t last forever.
How to Survive the Night Wakings
As postpartum doulas we’re often guiding new parents through night wakings, so here’s our advice gleaned from decades working with newborns and new parents:
Stop watching the clock. Nothing stretches time like staring at minutes tick by. A feed at 11:42 feels the same as a feed at 2:13 when you stop keeping score.
Make overnight jobs super clear. Take turns with your partner or family member, for example:
One person does the early shift (7pm-12am) and is in charge of changing, burping, soothing, feeding (if you aren’t breastfeeding) and washing bottles/pump parts. The other person sleeps and then you switch at 12am.
By taking turns you each get some uninterrupted sleep, there are no arguments about who is in charge of what, and you reduce the overall mental load.
Do NOT let wake windows stress you out at night. Nighttime wake windows are not the same as daytime. A newborn that’s up for 40 minutes at 3 AM does not need to be “stimulated.” Keep nights boring… think dim lights, quiet voices, slow movements. Not only does this help your baby learn that nights are dark & quiet, but it also helps you stay regulated & calm at night.
Put food, water, diapers, and wipes next to wherever YOU sit/rest/sleep at night. This makes it easy for you to get what you need without traveling from room to room. If you haven’t grabbed yourself a rolling caddy, do so now. Fill it with extra pump parts, breastmilk storage bags, burp clothes, diaper cream, nipple cream, snacks, and whatever else you can think of! It will come in clutch and you can move it throughout the house as needed.
If you’re pumping, simplify everything. Use the fridge hack (put your pump parts in a ziploc and store in the fridge for the next feeding) which allows you to limit how often you’re hand washing. Air dry bottles & pump parts overnight. Read up on how frequently to sanitize bottles & pump parts and don’t do more than you need to!
Ask for help before you hit your breaking point. Take it from someone who is hyper-independent: even if you technically can do it all, you shouldn’t. Invite your friends and family into your journey by asking them to set up a meal train or bringing you some groceries. Hire a postpartum doula for a few hours a day or 2 or 3 overnights a week so you can get some extra rest. There’s a reason people say “it takes a village.”
Cluster Feeding Survival Tips
Get comfortable. This is not a 10-minute feed. This is a sit-down-and-commit situation. Make a feeding nest with water, snacks, phone charger, TV remote, burp cloths, a book, or anything else you need when trapped under your baby.
Let your baby tank up. Don’t stress if feeding feels nonstop. Cluster feeding naturally helps regulate your milk supply and in the end may help your baby sleep longer stretches later in the night.
Wear your baby. Sometimes cluster feeding is really cluster comfort. Babywearing can give you a break from the sitting and constant feeding while still giving them what they need. It also allows you to get some things done if you need to.
Try co-bathing. If you’re feeling touched out or just annoyed by the cluster feeding, try bathing with your baby. It can help you de-stress a bit, while keeping baby close.
Keep things low stimulation. When in doubt turn the lights down, the TV off, and just give your baby good old fashioned skin-to-skin.
Nourish YOU as best you can
You don’t get through the newborn phase by powering through, you get through it by taking care of yourself. Nap when you can during the day, hire overnight help if possible, and trade shifts with your partner so neither of you burns out. Let go of unrealistic expectations and stop worrying about routines that don’t matter right now. Eat real food, drink plenty of water, and make life easier with something like Restorative Roots postpartum meal delivery. Keep your bar low and call it a win when you survive the day because that is more than enough.
Newborn night wakings and cluster feeding are normal but draining, and having the right support can be the difference between surviving and actually enjoying these early months. If you’re ready for real sleep, steadier nights, and someone who knows exactly what to do when the sun goes down, reach out to National Baby Co and we’ll match you with an overnight postpartum doula in your area. You deserve rest. Your baby deserves a regulated, supported parent. And we can help make that happen.
