How a Doula Helps You Advocate for Yourself in Labor
Despite what you might see on a lot of doula pages on Instagram, birth isn’t always twinkling lights, calm music, and slow, peaceful breathing. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s intense. Sometimes there’s cursing involved. And sometimes it’s a room full of people moving fast and talking over you.
This is why having a birth doula in the room can change everything. A doula doesn’t necessarily speak for you. They help you speak up for yourself when it matters most.
Your doula is an advocate
When we say we want all of our clients to have an "empowered" birth, we don't mean it in a vague, fluffy way. To us, being empowered means you trust your birth team enough to fully surrender into the moment. It means you feel confident and bold in your choices. It means you speak up for yourself without apologizing, without shrinking, and without second-guessing what your gut is already telling you.
That kind of confidence doesn’t just magically appear in labor. It’s built ahead of time. It’s built through education, through planning, through surrounding yourself with the right people. Which is why having a doula that can advocate for you is so important.
But what does birth advocacy look like? Here are a few ways it can unfold with the support of your doula:
Slowing the room down. When someone starts rushing through procedures, talking over you or asking you to make decisions, your doula reminds the team that you need time to think, breathe, consider, and ask questions.
Translating medical language. You shouldn’t need a dictionary or a medical degree to understand what’s being said about your labor, your body, or your baby. A doula can help break down the medical talk so you know exactly what’s happening.
Reminding you of your plan. In the middle of intense contractions or when you’re in what we like to call “labor land” it’s easy to forget what you said you wanted or your vision for your birth. Your doula holds that plan with you and gently brings it back into the conversation. It’s ok if you deviate from it, but your doula wants you to feel informed and confident in whatever choices are being made.
Supporting your partner. Your partner wants to help but may freeze when the pressure kicks in. A doula gives them words, grounding, and confidence so it’s not all on you. Your doula can also coach your partner on being an advocate.
Reminding you that “No” is a complete sentence. Sometimes your OB, midwife, or nurse may not like the decision you make or may try to convince (or coerce) you into making another decision. If you say “No” and the medical staff push back, your doula can remind them (and you) that nothing more needs to be said.
Keeping the room centered on you. Not your chart. Not the clock. You.
Your voice should carry the most weight in the room
Doctors, nurses, and staff play important roles. But none of them know your body, your values, or your story the way you do. A doula doesn’t override them, but they help make sure your voice is actually heard.
Sometimes it’s as simple as asking, “Can you give us a minute?” or “Can you explain what that means?” or “Can you explain why you feel that is necessary?”
Sometimes it’s holding eye contact with you when everything feels chaotic and helping you ground yourself. And yes, sometimes it’s just being the steady presence that keeps the focus where it belongs.
We’ve witnessed a lot of births
At National Baby Co., we match families with experienced birth doulas across Atlanta, Houston, Miami, Knoxville, Orange County, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Oakland, Detroit, Ann Arbor, Portland, New York, New Jersey, and more. Our team has supported hundreds, if not thousands of births… births in hospitals, birth centers, and homes. We’ve seen people go from feeling like passengers in their own birth to taking the wheel. That shift happens the moment you acknowledge, and believe, “I have a choice here.”
This is your birth. You get to lead. Your doula will help you.
No matter how your labor unfolds, your preferences, instincts, and voice matter. A doula is there to make sure they don’t get lost in the noise.
If you’re planning to give birth and are looking for a doula, we can help you find one who will stand beside you and help you hold your ground and support you in the birth experience you desire.
